Mental HealthNovember 03, 2020
We have to do better and lead the leaders. Look at these real-life nightmares from the sales floor.
I’ve talked about mental health and therapy many times. Let’s talk about it more. Let’s normalize Mental Health. It DESERVES to be capitalized because it’s a thing.
Michelle Wilkinson, licensed therapist in Austin, TX joined us for Tequila Tuesday this past week and defined Mental Health as, “emotional, psychological well being, your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, your ability to deal with stress, your coping skills……Mental Health spans across your lifetime. Same as your physical health, you know you gotta exercise, you gotta eat well, all of those things apply to your mental health as well”
What’s your definition of Mental Health? What does it mean to you and what does it not mean? To start to address something it needs to be defined by what it is and what it isn’t. Many of us go through life rationalizing thoughts and actions because we refuse to tell ourselves the truth of a situation. Personal transparency is hard. You want it at work, but you don’t hold those standards for yourself. Admitting that you need help is hard. Believing that you can be a better version of yourself by acknowledging that you have shit to work on is hard. Create a dynamic definition of Mental Health for yourself. Hint: It’s NOT using some diagnosis or lack of, to become a victim.
Okay, you’re ready. You’re open to learning more about yourself from a professional who will help guide you. It’s pretty daunting to stare down a list of hundreds of therapists, so daunting that many people end the process before it begins. Many therapists will do free consultations to find out if it’s a good fit. Treat this as a discovery call because it literally is a discovery call. Plan out questions, look at their background, I feel like I shouldn’t have to tell you how to do this. Finding the right fit is important. I have a friend who went through 4 different therapists before finding the right fit, she didn’t have to…she just didn’t ask the important questions upfront.
Struggling to find good questions? Check this out.
Therapy is WORK and it could feel pretty crappy for a while. It’s acquiring skills and modes of thinking that allow you participate in life without being overwhelmed by situations or thoughts. It will be uncomfortable, but you’re in sales (or not), and that feeling isn’t new. Embrace it. You’ve acquired thick skin over years and even a callus or two, and now you gotta pull it off, dealing with everything you covered up. I’ve been there, it sucks. Unlike your day job there’s no end goal and no Mental Health metrics to meet/beat. It’s you against you and speaking from experience, you can be your own worst enemy. Get out of your own way to do the work. Like sales though, there is hitting your targets (practicing what your therapist told you to try), there are KPIs (ex: doing 10min of mindfulness for 30 days), there is a process.
Understand that showing up for you, also is showing up for your family, your partner, your kids, your co-workers…. Everyone else in your life will benefit because you decided to take ownership of you. When deeply held beliefs and processes change, people around you have space to be themselves rather than react or worry about what you’re doing or saying. A sense of peace exists when your choices no longer negatively affect others and you have a handle on dealing with stressors.
The only way to fail is to do nothing. The commitment is showing up for yourself everyday. Showing up can look like 10 minutes of guided meditation, taking a walk daily, getting off technology to write out your goals, or meeting with your therapist, addressing something hard with a coworker, friend, or partner you’ve been putting off, or practicing a new way of thinking. Folks, the list is endless, write it.
You can’t be the best version of you without taking personal steps towards better Mental Health. We all know what it feels like to try and work when our personal life is suffering. A bad call or a lost deal then seems to pummel us like rouge fucking waves, and we feel like there’s no way back to the surface.
It’s your choice to find the leash of your board and pull yourself back up.(hint: it’s attached to you already, stop panicking) This isn’t some “pick yourself up by the bootstraps” bullshit. This is taking ownership of your own life and understanding that no one else is responsible for your Mental Health except for you. Finding a therapist to work with who resonates with you, will unlock your potential, at the price of strengthening relationships, building confidence, and giving you tools to handle any situation.
Psychology Today is a great resource to find a therapist in your area.