Self Doubt Kills Time

September 03, 2019

Losing four years of my life to a hospital bed and coming close enough to death to smell its breath has given me a unique sense of urgency to make up for lost time.  The brevity of life has given me motivation to align my passion with my profession, and make both of those fit around my personal life so that I can enjoy what I’m doing every single day, not just on Saturday or Sunday.

I’ve employed countless techniques to accomplish this as quickly as possible – time management tricks, prioritizing and elimination methods, not to mention the mountain of information I’ve consumed on my specific industry.  But, even with all the skills and knowledge I’ve accumulated, I never could have created the life I have now in such a short amount of time if I hadn’t had confidence.

Most people don’t consider how crucial confidence is to time.  Sure, we have all heard the motivational speeches about how important it is to have confidence to get to where you want to go – but how many speeches have you heard about how FAST it can get you there?  I’m not saying it’s a magic bullet that will rocket you up the ladder at the speed of light. I’m telling you, if you are lacking confidence in yourself, you will waste a lot of time and get to your destination a lot slower than if you believed in yourself fully.

Before I go any further, I want to pause here and explain the difference between confidence and arrogance, because in the sales world, I’ve seen those two get mixed up a lot.  I like how this article puts it: “Confidence is grounded in experience and expertise with a sense of respect and humility; whereas arrogance, is grounded in nothing (it is unwarranted baseless confidence with lack of respect and humility).”

Real confidence is not having to argue with yourself about whether or not you deserve what you’re asking for before walking in to negotiate with the person who has the power to give it to you.  If you’re sitting there in your head trying to convince yourself you should get this promotion, you’re wasting your own time. Either you can do the job or you can’t. If you think you can, have the confidence to ask for it and learn what you need to learn to kick ass at it.  (And there’s ALWAYS something to learn! Knowing that is another key difference between confidence and arrogance.)

I always preferred transactional sales to long, drawn out negotiations because I don’t like to go back and forth with people – not even myself.  If I have to sit there and try to convince myself to go for something, I’m not ready. I’m not going to waste my time trying to convince anyone else I’m worthy, so I’m damn sure not going to waste my own time.  So, when I put my mind to taking the next step, it’s a solid decision followed by swift action. I am confident in my goal and my ability to achieve it. And no one else can stop me. I’m going to get it and I’m going to get it on my timeline.  I simply don’t have time to spare second guessing myself.

If you haven’t fully convinced yourself you’re worthy of something (and this can be anything), you have no business trying to convince someone else to give it to you.  When you are fully confident in yourself and know you can have what you want, you will get it.  You will make sure of that. Next time you set your sights on something and agonize over the time it would take to attain it, ask yourself how much time you could save if you were 100% confident you will succeed.  Then, develop your confidence.